The Sound Of Trombones
by SmoshyDoctor
Summary: Imagine an alternate universe where the Doctor was insane but still loved bowties and fezzes; the Master was not insane but was feminine, had a TARDIS, and loved suspenders and bowler hats; and Donna never had to lose her memory, is still as sassy as ever, and is the Master's companion. What happens? You'll find out.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1~

"Master, why are you wearing...a bowler hat and suspenders? Wait a minute...a BOWLER HAT and SUSPENDERS?! Oh, I get it. You've got a new fetish!" Donna snickered as she walked around the TARDIS.

The Master frowned. "What? Bowler hats and suspenders are cool! And I DO NOT have a fetish for these!" He sniffed the air, smelling something burning...Then he realized what it was and yelped. "OH NO, MY FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD ARE BURNING IN THE OVEN!" The Time Lord dashed down the hallway of the TARDIS, shrieking.

"You are SUCH a woman!" Donna yelled as she sat in the control panel chair and leaned back. Her ginger hair fell in front of her face and she blew it away.

"Am NOT!" the Master shrieked from the kitchen. A loud clang and a splat echoed through the TARDIS after he yelled. "Oh no, NOT THE CUSTARD!" he squealed in a falsetto.

She tried her best not to laugh. Donna loved being the Master's companion, even if it meant that she had to babysit him a bit. He acted like such a child sometimes...but normally he acted more like a woman.

A crazy laugh suddenly echoed everywhere, bouncing off the walls and ringing in both the Master and Donna's ears. Donna winced, holding her head as she fell to her knees, then she winced again, cursing as she rubbed her kneecaps. "Oi! Master, you better not be on shrooms again!" Noble snapped as she tried to stand up.

When the Master was on shrooms, it was not fun to be around him. Not. Fun. At. All. Rather scary, actually-

The TARDIS doors burst open and in appeared..."MASTER! OMIGOD IT'S THE DOCTOR! HE GOT INSIDE THE TARDIS!" Donna shrieked, backing away from the doors as fast as she could, her feet scrambling everywhere.

The Doctor smiled at Donna. "Oh look, it's the Master's sassy companion, Donna...erm...wait a minute." He broke off laughing. "Your name is Donna Noble-Temple?!" The madman without a box or any sense of sanity began cracking up, tears forming in his eyes. "That sounds like a tourist spot!" He clutched his stomach, hardly able to breathe at this point.

She stomped her foot on the TARDIS floor. "First of all, MISTER, my name isn't Donna Noble-Temple, it's Temple-Noble, you arsehole. Second of all, what in the bloody hell are you doing in the Master's TARDIS? It's not that easy to get inside, 'specially when we're traveling IN SPACE. And where's YOUR little space box, huh? Tell me," Donna sneered, "I dare you."

The Doctor immediately froze, stunned by the sudden outburst.

"Well...I don't have a little space box, but I do have a cardboard box!" He pulled a normal sized cardboard box out of his pocket, unfolded it, set it on the TARDIS floor, and jumped inside it. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" the Doctor laughed as he jumped around inside the box.

Donna watched him with a mixture of interest and slight horror. Was she really the only mentally stable one in this group of three? Noble watched the Doctor running around in his box, making airplane noises with his lips while the Master's girly shrieks echoed all around the TARDIS. Yeah, she was DEFINITELY the mentally stable one...

After a few more minutes of listening to "vrrrrooooommmm" and "EEEK!", the Master finally stepped out of the kitchen, carrying a platter of burnt fish fingers and custard. "I finally got my snack," he panted as he entered the control room. The girly Time Lord gasped when he saw Donna and the Doctor making eye contact. "What is the Doctor doing in MY TARDIS?"

"Uhm, I-"

The Doctor cut her off. "I teleported here in my cardboard box!" He grinned at the Master while adjusting his fez and bowtie.

"Cardboard boxes can't teleport, you idiot!" Donna and the Master snapped at the exact same time. They looked at each other for a brief moment and then burst out laughing, giving each other an epic high five.

The Doctor suddenly got serious and began to twitch. "Can't you hear it, Master?"

"Hear what? The sound of drums?" the Master scoffed as Donna held in a laugh.

"No. The sound of...trombones! AGH! There they are, right here, right now, blasting away, giving me a bloody migraine and-" He stopped himself mid-sentence and looked at his supposed enemies. "Do either of you have any asprin?"

**A/N: This story was originally published on my old Wattpad account & the A/N that were originally on them have been edited for . Just thought I'd let you guys know.

-SmoshyDoctor**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2~

"Wouldn't asprin kill a Time Lord, though?" Donna asked as she looked back and forth at the Master and the Doctor.

"Nah, that was just a lie to cover up for the truth. What really happens is we get-"

"MOOD SWINGS!" the Doctor yelled happily, making Donna and the Master jump. "Good ol' mood swings." He was grinning like a complete idiot.

"So...basically...taking asprin is kind of like going through puberty?" Donna said as she tried to keep a straight face.

"Yup!" the Doctor sang as he ran around the TARDIS control panel, pressing random buttons.

The Master jumped up and chased after the Doctor while eating burnt fish fingers and custard, cursing him out with a full mouth, which sounded something like:

"Stupid little g-...munchmunchmunch...get back here, you little tw-...nomnomnom..."

The Doctor spotted the self-destruct button (haha, it's actually not that. Time Lords aren't THAT stupid), which was huge, bright, shiny, big, and red, and he stopped running to stare at it, his eyes sparkling. "Shiny..." he whispered. "So insanely shiny..." His hand reached out to touch the button.

Immediately, the Master smacked his hand away. "Don't touch my TARDIS! She's MY sexy thing." He pouted like a child and Donna shook her head, leaning on a minor control panel and watching the whole thing unfold, like a movie or book storyline.

"Oh, SORRY, I didn't realize you two were dating," the Doctor teased as he made kissy faces at the Master. "Master and TARDIS, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love-"

"Shut up!" the Master snapped, blushing, his voice cracking and rising to the volume of another falsetto.

"You're SUCH a girl," Donna and the Doctor exclaimed at the exact same time. They looked at each other and laughed. "Ooh, nice one!" the Doctor said as he leaned over and extended his arm for a high five. Donna shrugged. "Well, a high five is a high five..." She leaned over to finish the high five, until...

"NO DONNA! OMIFUCKIN'GOD; WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?! HE'S MY SWORN ENEMY! DON'T HIGH FIVE HIM! PLEASE!" the madman with a box and a girly voice roared. "HE'S MESSING WITH YOUR MIND!"

"Actually, I really just want a high five. Badly," the Doctor confessed.

"Well, that's a good enough reason for one. Plus, we dissed the Master pretty good too..." Donna high fived the Doctor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! OH, YOU BLOODY GINGER, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HIGH FIVE HIM?!...YOU BETRAYED ME...AND ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" The Master began to cry and his tears dripped onto the smelly remaining crumbs of the burnt fish fingers and custard.

"But I really, honestly, just wanted a-"

"DON'T YOU START WITH ME, YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!" he screamed, cutting the Doctor completely off. "I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID CARDBOARD BOX OF IDIOCY!"

"Y-You insulted Boxy..." the Doctor looked sadly at his feet, a single tear sliding out of his eye. "You...You BASTARD!" He turned around and stomped his Time Lord foot down so fiercely on the TARDIS floor that the force itself almost shattered the main control panel.

The Master flinched.

"Wait, wait, wait! So this whole...EXPLOSION of emotions came from the simple fact that I high fived the Doctor?!" Donna snapped, looking at the two insane Time Lords. "You two are really stupid, even if you both are over 900 years old..." She shook her head in disbelief and disappointment. "And I always have to be the babysitter..."

"I want him out of my TARDIS," the Master whined, pointing at the Doctor. "He scares me."

"You scare me when you're on shrooms," Donna countered, and the Doctor burst out laughing for the second time that day. She glared at the Doctor, immediately silencing him. "I was SERIOUS."

"Speaking of shrooms, I've got some right here," the Doctor said, pulling out a plastic bag with a duct tape label that read 'SHROOMS' in all caps, written in bright red Sharpie.

"OMIGOD, THANK YOU; I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THESE ALL DAY!" the Master screamed as he raced toward the Doctor and tackled him to the ground, trying to fish the shrooms bag out of his hands. "...Wait a minute...where did you find these?..." he asked suspiciously, standing up and brushing himself off posh-like, as if he hadn't just awkwardly tackled his fellow Time Lord.

"I found them inside Boxy." The Doctor shrugged. "Maybe Boxy is on shrooms right now. Want me to ask her?"

"Boxy is a girl?" Donna asked, shaking her head. "Boys and their toys..."

**A/N: Well, I'm very pleased with this chapter, if I do say so myself. :) I'm obsessed with the songs 'The Man Who Never Lied', 'Lucky Strike', 'Not Your Birthday', and 'Wake Up Call' right now! They're good and they're all by Maroon 5 (except for Not Your Birthday, which is by Allstar Weekend); look em up & listen to them. :) You won't regret it. ;)

-SmoshyDoctor**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3~

**A/N: I'm not encouraging the use of smoking, drugs, etc. in this chapter. Just wanted to put that out there.**

The Master ignored Donna and the Doctor and began to take the shrooms.

"NO, MASTER, DON'T!" Donna shrieked. She dashed at the Master but the Doctor caught her and held her back. "LET ME GO!"

"Let it happen," the Doctor said. "Besides, it's funny to see him like this every once in a while."

"Not for me, it isn't," Donna whispered as she began to shake.

The Doctor pushed Donna back a timy bit as they both saw the Master shaking. "Don't say a word. Try not to be scared either," he whispered very quietly to her, "because he can smell fear when he's like this. Stand still, be fearless, and don't say a word. Then he can't see you."

"Are you crazy?!" she hissed, shoving him backwards. "That's the dumbest idea I ever-"

He clapped a hand over her mouth and froze as the Master turned around, a crazed look on his face. The Master looked up at the ceiling of the TARDIS and let out a crazy, insane scream that made Donna almost cry; she was so terrified.

The Doctor watched the Master as the Time Lord with a cardboard box and the ginger stayed perfectly still.

"Where's the Doctor and Donna?" the Master asked, talking to himself as he walked down the hallway of the TARDIS.

"Told you so," the Doctor smirked as Donna stayed frozen, her mouth agape. "I've known him longer than you, Donna. I knew it would work."

"But...but..." she stammered, pointing down the hallway, where the Master had wandered off to. "...can't he hear us talking right now?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Not a word. He's in his own little world. We can move around and talk till he eventually comes back. Act like a statue unless he looks like he's sober-ish." He adjusted his bowite and fixed his fez.

"You're not as insane as you let on, Doctor," Donna laughed. "Do you just act insane to draw people away from you?"

"Nah," the Doctor sniffed. "I do it 'cause it's hilarious. Plus, I love acting like a little kid. Makes me feel like I'm 7 again. And let me tell you, being 7 was AGES ago..."

He began to babble and Donna sighed, finding a chair, sitting down. She wondered the true reason why the Doctor acted insane; it felt as if he hadn't given her a REAL one...and she slowly fell asleep as the Doctor kept talking and talking...

**Later**

Donna woke up to see the Master's face right in front of her own. She screamed and he jumped back, stunned for a brief moment before he began to laugh evily. "I got you right where I want you, Donna," he snickered. "Now where's the Doctor?"

Noble snorted and sat up, crossing her arms over her chest. "How the bloody hell should I know? You're the one who caught me, smart arse." She glared at him. "What did you do to me anyway?"

"See for yourself," the Master snorted as he turned away from her, cracking up. A mirror was lying next to her. She picked it up and studied her reflection carefully. He had done nothing.

"You didn't do anything." Donna said, sighing as the Master turned around and stopped laughing. "Oh yeah?" he challenged. "Look at the top of your left hand." She did as she was asked and snorted. All that was there was a small black 'X' drawn in Crayola marker. "So what? It's just an 'X'..." Donna sighed, shaking her head as she walked out of the Master's bedroom.

"DOCTOR!" she called. "Where are you?" came a reply. "Near the bedroom!" she answered.

"Which one? There's hundreds!"

"The Master's bedroom!"

"Okay, I'll be there soon!"

She heard footsteps right as the Master stepped out of his bedroom and looked at Donna. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Oh...uhm...nothing," Donna laughed nervously. He squinted at her. "You're up to something..." The Time Lord paced around her. "Oh ho, thinking 'bout your daughter, aren't you?...How sad, leaving her when she needs you the most..." He snickered. "Leave me alone," Donna snapped. "I didn't leave her. You swept me away." The Master cackled. "You're making it sound like I eloped with you or something..."

The Doctor popped out of nowhere, startling Donna. "God, you nearly gave me a bloody heart attack..." She laughed. He grinned at her, fixing his fez. "That's all I'm good for now, it seems...heart attacks and lookin' good." The Doctor winked at the Master. The Master snorted, rolling his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, mama's boy." The Doctor gasped. "You take that back!" They began to have an intense stare-off and Donna walked away, bored and tired. "I can't take anymore of this today," she mumbled as she walked upstairs to her bedroom.

**A/N # 2: Ooh, Donna has a child! But who is her father? Shaun Temple? A random bloke? The Master? Or even, possibly...The Doctor?! *cue soap opera music that goes something like 'dun dun DUN!'* Well, this will be explained later. :) Cheers!

-SmoshyDoctor

P.S. I'm in a random mood today. Or tonight, in my case.

"BA-DA-BOOM-BA!"**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4~

The Master broke off from the stare-off and heard Donna head upstairs and the Doctor cheered. "I WIN! HAHA!" he yelled victoriously as he began to run around in circles. "YOU OWE ME FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD!"

"Oh, do shut up," the Master snapped at him. "I only lost 'cause I'm worried about Donna." The Doctor grinned mischeviously while the Master looked at him curiously. "What?" the Master asked. The Doctor kept grinning. "You like her, don't you?" the Doctor said. "Well, if you mean as a friend, then yeah, I do," the Master replied as he adjusted his suspenders. "Noo, you like her more than that," the Doctor teased. "You loove her."

"Do not!" the girly Time Lord snapped. "Do too!" the self-centered Time Lord countered.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"I FLIPPING DON'T, OKAY?!" the Master roared. "DON'T PUSH MY LIMITS, DOCTOR!"

The Doctor froze in fear. He knew what happened when he did push the Master's limits..."Sorry," the Doctor mumbled. "I had to say that..." He shook his head out of disappointment in himself.

The Master immediately calmed down and sighed. "No, it's my fault. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you." He smiled a tiny bit. "Can you imagine what it would be like if I was the insane one and you were the one with the badass companions & a TARDIS?"

They both laughed.

"Yeah, me, sane?!" the Doctor snickered. "As if. Then I suppose I'd 'save the world'. Ha!" He fixed his fez.

The Master chuckled. "And me, insane?! Haha, how weird would that be? I'd, like, try to take over the world or something while killing innocent people for my own amusement! Haha!"

They both kept joking about the idea of their personalities being swapped and laughed like they were good mates, which they were, for the time being.

Donna sat on her bed and began to wonder what her daughter was doing right now at this very moment. She wondered if her daughter was daydreaming in class, having a bite to eat with her mates, doing homework...or wondering where her mum was...

Noble sighed as she laid down on the bed. Her daughter, Lacy, was about 10 now. She laughed for a brief moment of how old that made her feel. Young Lacy Temple-Noble thought that her dad was Shaun...but he wasn't her real dad; her real dad was-

"I WIN! HAHA! YOU OWE ME FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD!"

The Doctor's shouting killed Donna's train of thought and she shot up, startled for a brief moment before her brain registered that the Doctor had yelled, and then she laughed, lying back down again. Today had been a stressful and tiresome day for her...Donna drifted off into sleep as the Master roared: "I FLIPPING DON'T, OKAY?! DON'T PUSH MY LIMITS, DOCTOR!"

*Later*

"This fish fingers and custard are HORRIBLE!" the Doctor coughed as he spit out the burnt food. "How the hell can you be such a bad cook?"

Donna looked at the Master and tried to hold in her laughter but failed.

"Shut up!" the Master snapped at the Doctor. "I worked hard on this for you 'cause I 'lost' this stupid staring contest!"

Donna laughed. "You? Lose? That's a 'first'..." The Doctor laughed along with her and the two high fived. "BURN!" the Doctor shouted at the Master.

The Master rolled his eyes as he took the remaining fish fingers and custard from the Doctor and placed them neatly inside the TARDIS fridge. "Coming from a man who thinks he's so attractive when he's really not," the Master replied and crossed his arms over his chest.

Donna began cracking up as the Doctor's face turned bright red. "At least I have confidence!" the Doctor snorted.

**A/N: This chapter is sort of a filler on Donna's daughter. Sort of.

And on another note, sorry if my humor is getting kind of lame. :P

"Anything else I need to know?"

"I've met Shakespeare."

-SmoshyDoctor**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5~

"I have confidence," the Master said proudly, "I was born with it."

"Suure..." the Doctor snickered. "I remember, back when we were in the Academy, you always hated-"

"SHHHHH!" the Master hissed.

Donna shook her head. "You two are going to give me one hell of a migraine..." She laughed for a second, then stopped.

"Why don't we settle this now?" the Master said to the Doctor. "I don't want to give Donna a migraine-"

"Too late," she whispered, wincing.

The Doctor laughed. "You lose. I win. The awesome insane Doctor always wins." He grinned and then began to make trombone noises.

"Would you stop?" Donna snapped. "I'm already kind of pissed from this migraine."

"I can't help it; I hear trombones everyday of my Time Lord-y life, and I need to express it somehow," the Doctor said as he began to dance in circles around the Master, singing in the most annoying voice possible.

"Stop it," the Master snorted. "It's not going to work; you're not going to make me snap."

"Oh really?" The Doctor's voice got even more high-pitched and annoying, as he was practically yelling songs at the Master at this point. "LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA..."

"I'm going to the library, I need some peace and quiet," Donna muttered, rubbing her temples as she walked away.

"Stop it, Doctor. You're not getting anywhere. Like I said before, you're not going to get me to snap." The Master crossed his arms over his chest and stayed put, starting to block out the noise eminating from the Doctor.

The Time Lord with a (cardboard) box sighed. "Fine. I'll stop. But can I at least hear the story of how I almost conquered the Earth and was stopped by Martha Jones and yourself again? Please?"

"What?" the Master asked, snapping out of his trance. "Oh, uhm, sure, you can have ice cream."

"That's not what I asked for, but thanks!" the Doctor grinned as he raced to the fridge and pulled out a whole tub of rainbow sherbet ice cream. "Ew, rainbow? This is too girly..." He looked at the Master. "Why do you even have this with you? This is WAY too feminine..."

The Master turned red with embarassment. "I have that with me 'cause...'cause I like the flavor." He really had it 'cause he liked the color...

"Whatever." The Doctor threw the rainbow sherbet on the ground and kept looking through the fridge for more flavors of ice cream, passing over vanilla and chocolate. "Ooh, I didn't know you were into cookie dough!" He pulled out a large tub of the ice cream and pulled out a silverware spoon from his jacket pocket. "I love ice cream."

"B-But...where did you..."

"Where did I what?" The Doctor shoveled a huge chunk of the cookie dough in his mouth, looking at the Master obliviously.

"N-Never mind," the Master sighed, closing his eyes as he rubbed his temples. "God, now you're giving me a migraine..."

**A/N: Finals are coming up soon. I'm so bummed. -.- I HATE PRESENTING IN FRONT OF THE CLASS! ~ Especially in front of people I hate...

-SmoshyDoctor**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6~

Donna sighed with relief as she entered the TARDIS library. This had been one of her favorite rooms only because it was so peaceful, but after encountering the Vashta Nerada in The Library, she was still a bit jumpy whenever she walked inside here.

She pulled over one of the rolling ladders, climbed on, and slid down the shelves and shelves of books that ranged in genre from biographies to graphic novels. At the exact same time the Master started to get a migraine, Donna stopped at the science fiction section and climbed down the ladder. As she reached the ground, a special book with a laminated cover caught her eye. Donna picked up the book and read the title...The Sound of Drums. She looked at the summary and laughed. The story was about the Doctor and the Master...Donna sat down at the table and began to read.

"How can I give you a migraine?" the Doctor asked the Master, still pigging out on the cookie dough ice cream. "I'm not that annoying...am I?"

"Just...be quiet for at least a few minutes," the Master snapped. "Now I know why the other Time Lords never liked you..."

The Doctor stopped eating and looked at the Master, hurt. "W-What did you say?..."

The Master turned to face the Doctor, about to snap at him again, but then he noticed the tears rising in the Doctor's eyes and sighed. "Look, Theta, I'm sorry-"

"DON'T SAY THAT!" the Doctor yelled, tears running down the face as he glared at the Master.

The Master jumped, knowing how scary the Doctor could get when he was upset..."Look, Theta, you know I didn't mean to offend you..."

"Tell it to your stupid companion," he spat as he scooped up the tub of cookie dough and ran out of the kitchen, tears dripping onto the floor very loudly.

The Master sighed. Even though Theta had always been a mjaor pain in the ass to be around, he still kind of liked the guy...and he felt sorry for him, too...the Doctor only had one friend, and that was the Master...

"Doctor, I can't believe you sometimes..." he whispered to himself as he took a glass of soda out of the fridge and chugged it down quickly. He spotted the bag of shrooms on the dining room table and opened it. "Well, since I'm all alone..."

He took the shrooms.

A moment of brief silence followed.

Then he jumped up and laughed a maniacal laugh that he hadn't used in years. "I'M FREE! FREE! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, MY TRUE SELF IS FREEEEEEEEEE!" The Master dropped the glass on the ground and sprinted out of the kitchen.

Donna heard the Master screaming and froze, dropping the book on the ground.

"Oh, oh no. No, no, no, no..."

She ran out of the library and ran smack into the Doctor, who spilled the ice cream over the both of them. They sat up and Donna glared at the Doctor.

"Thanks for GETTING ICE CREAM ALL OVER ME!" she snapped as she tried to brush the cookie dough out of her hair.

The Doctor began to cry and shielded himself, waiting for Donna to smack him, like all the others before him had done.

She noticed he was crying and immediately calmed down. "Oh, Doctor, what's wrong?" Donna asked sadly, patting his back.

He sniffed. "The-The Master yelled at me..." The Doctor took off his fez and threw it on the ground in anger. "I'm not worthy of ANYBODY'S friendship..."

The ginger pouted. "Aw, Doctor, that's not true...besides, the Master always yells at me..." Donna put the fez back on the Doctor's head.

He smiled at her, wiping away her tears. "Thanks, I needed that...but why does the Master always yell at you?"

She sighed. "Usually 'cause I can get a little TOO sassy sometimes."

"Well, can't we all get that way sometimes?" the Doctor comforted, helping her up.

"Yeah, I guess you're right...Spaceman," Donna giggled, elbowing the Doctor.

They both laughed until the Master appeared out of nowhere, making them both freeze in their tracks.

"Can't you hear it?" the Master whispered to the both of them, tapping his head to a beat of four.

"H-Hear what?" Donna trembled as the Doctor held her close.

"The sound of drums, the sound of drums," the Master laughed as he circled around Donna and the Doctor.

Donna gasped. This was how the Master acted in the book that she'd been reading...She looked up at the Doctor.

The Doctor was looking directly at the Master. "It's only you."

She was starting to get a bit creeped out now, because that was a line that the Doctor in the book had said to the Master...

"Doctor?" Donna whispered, staying close to the Doctor while the Master looked at her eerily.

"Yes?" he responded, not taking his eyes of the Master.

"I was reading this book where you and the Master had swapped personalities...and now it's starting to happen...what's going on?" she shook.

"Did you take the book out of the TARDIS library?"

"Yes, why?" Donna asked, trembling as the Master turned his head sideways.

"Anything you read inside the TARDIS library starts to become true."

**A/N: WOAH! Who knew, haha? Anyways, sorry I haven't updated in forever. My old iPod completely died on me and I had to wait what felt like forever to buy a new one.

Please keep reviewing, favoriting, and following; I appreciate it! :)

-SmoshyDoctor**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7~

"What...no!" Donna exclaimed in shock. "That can't be true!"

"Well, look at the way the Master and I are acting," the Doctor said as he gestured to the Master, who was creepily smiling at the two of them. "Did we act like this in the book?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean-"

"Oh, yes it does, Donna," the madman without a box said. "Oh yes, it does. Well, at least I'm not insane anymore. Being like that was starting to give me a headache..."

"AHEM!" the Master coughed. "Evil insane mastermind over here! And LOVING it! Ah, I haven't felt this great since...well, since EVER!"

"Oh, dear God," Donna whispered as she stayed close to the Doctor. "He took the shrooms, didn't he?"

"Well...I did leave that bag open on the counter...and it's possible that he could've overdosed...or he just went plain crazy," the Doctor whispered to her as he adjusted his fez on top of his slicked hair. "Good thing he doesn't have his sonic screwdriver..."

"What d'you mean? He never uses that thing anyways," Noble whispered back as the Master kept tapping a rhythm of four to his head, cackling all the while. "'Sides, I doubt he's crazy enough to remember that this is his TARDIS and not yours...'cause in the book, you had the TARDIS and he didn't have one."

"Well, that's lucky," the Time Lord laughed as he pulled out his laser screwdriver, "'cause now I get to see if this'll have any effect on him."

Her eyes grew wide.

"No, you can't kill him!" she hissed. "Even if he's going crazy, I'm still his companion and I enjoy his cooking every once in awhile!"

The new madman with a box smiled.

"I'm not gonna kill him. I'm just seeing what he'll do if I show this to him."

She relaxed and tucked the book that she got from the TARDIS library in her jacket pocket.

"Oi! Master!" the Doctor yelled, waving his laser screwdriver around in his hand. "Check this out!"

The Master glared at the Doctor before his eyes settled on the laser screwdriver. His eyes grew wide with fear and he began shaking.

"Oh...oh my God..." the Time Lord began shaking. "N-No, he can't use that...he can't...not like during The Year that Never Was...no..." He crumpled up into a ball and began rocking back and forth.

The Doctor slid his laser screwdriver back into his coat pocket and grinned.

"That was fun!" he grinned, turning to Donna. "D'you think that Boxy'd want a go?"

She breathed out a sigh of relief.

They had both gone back to their original selves...at least, for now.

Donna walked over to the Master and kneeled down next to him.

He was still shaking, holding his head while he began murmuring something about cupcakes...

"Master."

The Master looked up at her.

"Y-Yeah?" he asked, trembling with fear.

"Glad t' have you back."

*A/N: Yay, everyone's back to normal (sort of)! :) Sorry this hasn't been updated in awhile; I've had it on hold for a bit.

Well, I've got to do some homework.

ALLONS-Y!

-SmoshyDoctor*


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8~

"Well, I'd except nothing but crazy from the Doctor here," the Master sighed as the Doctor picked up his self-proclaimed 'ever-faithful' Boxy and began to run up and down the hallways with it around his waist. "I mean, he almost destroyed the world. TWICE!"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. I was there. Duh." She crossed her arms over her chest and stood by the Master's side as they both watched the madman without a box act like a five year-old. "Besides, if he's back now, and acting like this, I really doubt that he can destroy anything...except for maybe himself."

The Master cocked his head and seemed to be mulling something over before admitting, "Yeah. Good point. Y'know, I feel like we should get rid of him. He's been nothing but a nuisance..."

"Oi! I am **NOT** a nuisance!"

The Time Lord and his companion looked at the only other member of the Time Lord's species in shock. He had sounded like a different Doctor-like the sane Doctor that had protected Donna when the Master began to act like he did in the book she had read. But it wasn't possible for him to go back to being that Doctor. She had stopped reading the book.

So why was he suddenly acting like his sane, alternate-universe like self now?

"Wot? Why're you two staring at me?" Eleven asked innocently. "Is it because I have Boxy with me? Is she making you feel weird? I'm sorry, I forgot how weird she makes people feel sometimes..."

Donna let out a sigh of relief. Maybe she had been just imagining things. The Doctor was his normal, goofy self.

"I feel like I should take over the world again today," the Master muttered as he scratched the back of his head.

Okay.

Something _HAD_ to be going on now.

Donna hadn't touched the book. She hadn't read it at all anymore, due to the Doctor's advice.

So why did the Master and Doctor seem to be acting like their parallel universe selves again?

That was when she realized...

...she had left the book open in the TARDIS library.

The Master noticed Donna staring at him and flinched, grabbing onto his pink apron as he asked nervously-,

"What? What is it? Is my hair messy? Am I wearing the wrong shade of pink? Did the Doctor put glue in my mousse, making my hair look weird?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "No. I just...I was spacin' out, Spaceman. I'll be right back."

And, with that, the sassy companion strode off towards the TARDIS library as the two Time Lords watched her, appearing to be expecting her to do something to them.

But nothing happened.

~Later~

The screen on Donna's phone lit up, buzzing loudly as it moved back and forth across the maplewood table inside the TARDIS library.

It awoke its owner, who had fallen asleep on top of the now closed book, and she murmured a string of cuss words before picking up her cellular device and hitting 'Answer'.

"What d'you want? 'M a bit busy," Noble murmured sleepily.

"Mum."

Donna became more alert and sat up in the small and rather uncomfortable plush chair as she pushed some of her hair out of her face. Her daughter NEVER called her...unless she was in some deep, deep trouble.

"Oh my God. What is it, sweetheart? Did you get suspended for starting another fight again?"

A sob came from the other end before Lacy continued, "Mum, I don't know where I am. I'm scared."

"Who kidnapped you?" She got up out of the chair and began to pace around the table. "I'LL BLOODY KILL THEM FOR TAKING MY DAUGHTER AWAY!"

"Mum...the...the man that took me-" Lacy paused to sniff. "-he says he knows you."

Donna stopped pacing, a shocked expression on her face. "W-What does he look like, sweetheart?"

Another chain of sobs and sniffles. "He...he's got...a styled quiff...a tweed jacket...suspenders...a bowtie...a fez...and a box that he named Boxy around his waist..."

"Bloody hell." Donna sighed as she drummed her fingers on the table. "That's the Doctor."

"He told me that he knew Harold Saxon...weren't you there when Harold Saxon was shot by his wife Rose, Mum?" Lacy whimpered. In the background, Eleven was telling her to 'hurry it up, you bloody bitch'. "Weren't you?"

"Honey, listen to me. Harold Saxon WAS the Doctor. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me. And yes, I was there. It was bloody terrifying," she sighed. "Lacy, sweetheart, stay safe. Stay as safe as you possibly can. For me. Can you do that?"

"Yes," Lacy whispered before the Doctor snatched the phone from her daughter and hissed-,

"You will never see her again."

That was when the line went dead.


End file.
